Facebook! I’d like to ask you. What does it means to be mentally healthy?
In a normal situation, personal mental health, should be about two things that are of utmost importance in living well:
Compassionate self-awareness and acceptance.
To cope well with the cards you’ve been dealt in terms of genetic disposition, inherent temperament, and the wounds that life hands out.
Everyone has it. The fact is most trauma is dealt with openly and transparently. Where emotional support usually comes from the people you are close too.
1. the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children;also : any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family.
This video was an offical “Facebook” post from facebook its self on the
10th February at 06:16
You’ll notice a disturbing trend with Facebook responding to particular comments. Though many adoptees expressed their personal adoption pain and grief, FaceBook seem to have chosen to only acknowledge the positive -adoption comments and ignore everything else. This is not a stance one would expect from a social media platform like FaceBook. You would expect and social media platform to remain neutral and unbiased.
Adoption may seem like a simple equation: a child needs a family and a family longs for a child. The process of adoption serves as the cement that fills this gap between need and longing. Only, the cement that fills the gap in an adoptive parent’s life can be the very binder that leaves a gaping whole in the adoptee’s life. This contrast is difficult for many people to understand.
- Adoptees need the space to mourn the family that has been lost.
- Adoptees need to know and honor their “first me.”
- Adoptees need to know that love does not = abandonment
- Adoptees need you to know that adoption is never over.
- Adoptees need to be able to share their pain without guilt.
- Adoptees need to claim their own identity.
- Adoptees need to know that they did not cause the separation from their first family.
- Adoptees need to be given the space to forgive, in their own time and in their own way.
- Adoptees need to share their story.
- Adoptees DO NOT need to be grateful.
Above all, adoptees seek validation and they need to have a voice for their experiences.
The comments after this facebook post are predominately from adoptees with negative experiences.
“In simple terms, adoption is the transfer of a child’s ownership. It fabricates a permanent identity unto the adopted person and guarantees the acquisition. In its core, adoption does not guarantee the child’s safety nor its well-being, unlike what popular culture like to sell to us.
The ensuing fallout is would be deviating for anyone yet alone a new born baby. Before you say anything about newborns being blank slates and don’t remember. It has been proven that adoptees store their “First Trauma” in implicit memory and are triggered by all kinds of experiences and lack the knowledge as to why.
Every adoptee’s experience is different, there is not one the same, and “YES” the majority of them are negative.
You only have to read the comments to figure that out….
Facebook you have no place here.
You can’t be pro adoption without providing support for or acknowledging the psychological effects of the the initial separation from the birth mother. Primal wounding is real. You don’t see this in nature. Why impose it on a human baby. I’m not saying Adoption is wrong but there is no Real proper validation or support for adoptees.
How can Adoptees have mentally health lives when we are ignored, told what to think.
We need to look at another option one that is not permanent and respects the adoptees mental health and original identity.